The Heart of a TCK -- Part Two

...you see, I grew up feeling torn among these three cultures. As much as I would like to say that I was able to smoothly integrate all three cultures within me, I can't. To do so would mean denying a part of who I am.

Rather than coming together harmoniously, these three cultures clashed with each other. It's as if imperialism/colonialism were taking place all within the landscape of my soul. The American side of me (the American values, ideas, and beliefs I had learned and absorbed in the American boarding school) imposed itself on the other two cultures--telling them what is acceptable and unacceptable, what is good and what is bad, etc. Instead of allowing the Chinese and Bolivian side of me to come forth in freedom and flourish, I (the American side of me) suppressed them , which of course was not healthy and was the source of the tredmendous inner struggle within me. I judged the Chinese and Bolivian side of me through an American perspective. I stuck to the American perspective, without questioning it, and as it were, denied and disowned my Chineseness and the influence of the Bolivian culture on me. There was no reconciliation or integration of the three. One subjugated the other two.

To be continued...